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Are you the Abused or the Abuser? Spiritual Exploration



“How can men be fat by being bad and how can they starve by being good ?” Black Elk


I woke up with this dream about myself being abused at work, my brother being abused at school, and his children after him.

It was so difficult to live with abuse while others were watching silently without acting or helping, hoping it would resolve by itself, I had to let the Powerful Me roar from within like a lion to stop the abuse, and only then… Only then, do people become conscious about “being a witness” of abuse.


What is Abuse?

Abuse is defined as a corrupt practice or custom such as buying of votes and other election abuses. It can be also an improper or excessive use or treatment. It can be Physical maltreatment but not only! https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/abuse


We recognize most of the time abuse as being a mistreatment towards women or children, and sometimes elders. Most women ONGs speak about physical, sexual, emotional, and mental abuse.

But did you know that abuse has many faces, and that is can be on:

  • A personal level

  • A family-community level

  • And on a global level: political, economic, etc.


Here are other forms of abuse that you may not know

Source and to find more about this list: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abuse

  • Abuse of authority, power, and rank: through harassment, interference, pressure, and inappropriate requests or favors.

  • Abuse of dominance: the business global Market is dominated by big companies despite anti-monopoly law.

  • Abuse of information where some practices are made such as breach of confidence or plagiarism, or extending the confidence of information beyond those authorized. Isn’t this the work of the Paparazzi, oh wait! CHATGBT is also a BIG authorized theft of information without reference to the source!

  • Animal abuse: the infliction of suffering or harm upon animals, and what about Plant and tree abuse? What about Water abuse? What about birds and Phone towers, the destruction of their lands and houses?

  • Gaslighting and Character assassination: manipulation through persistent denial, misdirection, contradiction, and lying, attempting to tarnish a person's reputation. This involves exaggeration or manipulation of facts

  • Human rights abuse: civil and political rights, such as the right to life and liberty, freedom of expression, and equality before the law; and economic, social, and cultural rights, including the right to participate in culture, the right to be treated with respect and dignity, the right to food, the right to work, and—in certain countries—the right to education.

  • Military abuse: We know that war crimes are "violations of the laws or customs of war", including "murder, the ill-treatment or deportation of civilian residents of an occupied territory to slave labor camps", "the murder or ill-treatment of prisoners of war", etc.

  • Mind abuse or mind control: tactics, psychological or otherwise, which can be seen as subverting an individual's sense of control over their own thinking, behavior, emotions or decision-making. Isn’t this what happens with us on a global level?

Of course, other abuse forms exist such as:

  • Medical abuse

  • Police abuse

  • Racial abuse

  • Religious abuse

  • Etc.


Our capitalistic system is made on the logic of abuse itself. So this virus stopped being carried by individuals themselves but started being carried by great big organizations as big entity entities. They became masters of abuse.


Impact of abuse


Abuse is destructive, it creates disorders in people, who may suffer from chronic depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, dissociation and anger, and alexithymia (difficulty identifying and processing their own emotions).


"Decreased functional connectivity in patients with major depressive disorder and a history of childhood traumatization through experiences of abuse: we suspect CT to be a considerable factor in the etiology of Major depressive disorder MDD. Through dysregulated neural circuits, CT is likely to contribute to a distinct Major depressive disorder MDD pathophysiology."


The danger of abuse is that it transforms the victims into abusers or opens them to tolerate violence. There is a contamination of abuse in the victims, in a way they can take pleasure in suffering and even in reproducing the act of abuse itself. I believe that in this sense they take the syndrome of abuse from the abuser him or herself and reproduce it within them. They replicate what they have learned, even in their imagination. This is the biggest danger of abuse, is that it propagates like a virus.


“Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse are more likely to report: unrestricted sexual fantasies, more atypical sexual fantasies, more sexual fantasies that involve force, and more fantasies that include elements of sadomasochism, submissiveness, and dominance”

Gewirtz-Meydan, A., & Opuda, E. (2023). The Sexual Fantasies of Childhood Sexual Abuse Survivors: A Rapid Review. Trauma, Violence, & Abuse, 24(2), 441-453. https://doi.org/10.1177/15248380211030487



Is Abuse a virus?


Being the victim of abuse is a traumatic experience, but watching abuse is also another traumatic experience.

Abuses push every one of us to become the defendant of our own freedom. And despite that abuse and that anger, we transform within to become the ones that defend ourselves, our lands, health, spaces our kids. The danger resides in that moment when we can become the abuser itself.


We are educated to accept abuse and to be abusers. Everything in our system is making us the “super-hero that kills and destroys in order to attain justice”. Complaints, fines, banks, everything is made to make us play at the game of victim or abuser.

As we learn by example, and that we are being led by many examples in our modern life, we keep reproducing the same game over and over for many generations.

The abuse mechanism is made through anger and manipulation, by trickery and sabotage, by shaming, victimizing, and accusing… There are no words for compassion, beauty, and a COMMON future.

The abuse stems from a strong belief in separation. It is about pushing out someone or something we don't want to see, who can be a mirror of our own differences or our own criminal nature, our darkness. We push it/him away and give ourselves “legitimate” reasons to do.

Yet this does not satisfy the abuser, it keeps pushing for more and more abuse, damaging and destroying, yet… it is still now enough…


I believe that the source of abuse is a deep loneliness, a deep lack of Love, Grace, and Union. The abuser himself is living in hell where anger, manipulation, and avidity exist, and he wants to propagate it everywhere. Because, if the abuser was living in Paradise - harmony, and contentment, he would not need to abuse anyone as he is happy and content.

Abusers live in lack, anger, despise, jealousy, and envy.


Abuse is a sickness. I believe that this virus exists within us, it can be a dormant behavior as my friend says, but it acts like a propagated virus, that takes over now, not only our homes and towns, it is devastating the whole world and it needs to be cut from its origins.


Its origins come from thousands and thousands of years ago, it is one of the panoply of tragedies that we carry as human beings, yet, we came also with the CHOICE: the choice to be and live something different, the choice to offer another reality to the next generations.

I am sure you have at least once been abused, with your money, your own body, race, or as a man or woman. However, do we need to reproduce the same act again?

By continuing the system of justice by punishing and killing, we accept the game of abuse. But, by the Cosmic Law of polarity, we can bring back values that are missing in our lives and re-educate ourselves to see Beauty, Know that everyone and everything is sacred, that whatever abuse happens, things will come back to us, that what we do replicates, we don’t need to forgive what is being done, but we can choose to construct and collaborate for the common goal.

All this can be done through the spiritual discovery of our innate abundant source.

And even if God may not exist anymore for some, the Sacredness of nature, of you, and all that lives still persists. All is inhabited by a soul, all is inhabited by the breath of life, we share it wherever we are, and whoever we are.


The other is me, and is you, so start by identifying the abuser in you, how are you abusing others, are you the one being abused? Learn where it comes from and how to stop this game. Not only for you but all those that are watching and learning from you, by example.

Explore with your cards and share with your community


For those who love using cards for self-introspection, this is the time. Get your cards and explore these questions:


  1. What is “abuse”?

  2. Identifying the abuser in you: Are you abusing others? How? Where does it come from?

  3. Are you being abused? How? Why?

  4. How can you get out of this game?

  5. What can help you?

  6. How would your life be without Abuse?

  7. How would be life on Earth without Abuse?


To go further, talk about this with your closed ones, with your children, and let art be your tool to free your mind and spirit from abuse, spiritual and psychological work would help, consult with your practitioner to help you get through.





With love,


Ouassima Issrae,






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